I had been flirting with the idea of starting to write again since last October. The seamless keyboard of my back then brand new lap top appeared very appealing at the beginning. Obviously, it was not appealing enough to do the trick, as it seems.
Apart from that, I had grown out of my old blog, which had been hibernating for almost 5 years somewhere in the cyberspace- which reminds me of that movie with Tom Hanks, the Terminal, that really stresses me out every time I think about it, but which everybody else seems to love. However, the idea of starting a new blog, made me feel like I am leaving unfinished business and I don’t like unfinished business. After purposelessly playing with my old blog one day, I realised I could very easily change the name, just like that. Again, since I did not get an epiphany immediately, I dropped it.
During all my off-the-blog time, I had been following quite a few professional bloggers. Their stories inspired me and made my days and my overall life better. More often than not, I could relate to the things they wrote. I wished I could be like them. It was then when I felt alive again and I was reminded of my purpose: I want to improve the lives of people and animals. I want to be an advocate for self growth. All I had to do is to believe I can do it.
Easier said than done. Every night I went to bed with this idea.
A couple of weeks ago I was telling my counsellor- fancy word for therapist -that I have troubles sleeping at night. Now that I got some of my energy back, my brain started working overtime again, restlessly reviewing my days, spotting my mistakes and judging me tirelessly. My counsellor asked me if I could think of a way to avoid this, and I thought about writing a diary and depositing my thoughts on virtual paper so that I can go to sleep with an unloaded brain. What a great idea!
Needless to say, I did not do it.
In the meantime, I was hired by a local blog here in Leiden (www.theleidener.com) to write as a contributing author, which was definitely a great starting point. But still, I was not ready to take up the responsibility of running my own personal blog.
It was only a few days ago, when I was studying at home and my stress levels were slightly lower then the norm, when I decided to take some time and write about how inspired I felt by reading the blog posts from men and women, who they themselves have what it takes. I wrote a couple of paragraphs and I suddenly thought “it’s time”.
I looked for my old blog and I tried to come up with a new name for it. After some failed attempts I decided to seek for the help of google on “how to name a blog”. Sometimes I am surprised by the negative correlation between mine and google's intelligence. Well, it worked anyway. I found a website which creates blog names based on keywords. I typed “self growth” and pressed search. After a bit of mixing and matching among the suggested ones I finally decided on “selfgrowthzone”. I was between this and “selfgrowthhunter” at first. I decided to reject the "hunter" idea, because I find hunting disturbing when I think about the kill and not the stylish English men riding their horses while being escorted by a pack of beagles, whose white part looks so bright as if they have been bleached.
Since I was a rusty blogger, I played around with the features a bit so as to remind myself the procedure of creating and posting an article. Actually, it couldn’t have been easier and I am very grateful to all those visionaries and smart and capable people, who have created these platforms, allowing anyone to express himself and be creative with a click of a button. I experimented with the fonts and chose something relatively plain and minimal, because I wouldn't want you to be overwhelmed by complex shapes and colours in the background of my hopefully non-overwhelming texts.
Open notes, select text, copy, paste, publish.
I am doing this for me and for you. I started writing again because I, like everybody else, have something to say and I enjoy doing it the most in written form. I am writing so that I can finally hear my own voice and for my beloved people, and anyone else interested, to get an insight in my life and head. I am also writing out of practicality, because I have to empty my brain every now and then so as to enjoy an 8-hour rejuvenating, uninterrupted sleep. I aspire that one day someone will read this blog and will think “if she can do it, so can I” and will start their own journey of self-exploration. I am doing it hoping to challenge people to think, to feel and to inspire them to grow.
The things I am writing about are things I rarely get the chance to talk about. This is my chance to free my inner voice, which I find oftentimes to be much wiser than I will ever be.
Thank you for being with me on this journey and for making me feel happy and empowered with your presence and support. We are all in this together, after all.
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