4.11.2017

Healing

It has been four days since I got a decent night's sleep. You see, I always get a bit funky before a full moon. In times like this, it feels like I am a numb observer of my own life. I can just watch this girl being in places doing things as if I am watching a theatre play. I spent the weekend at my yoga teacher's training. It was rather intense, but in a good way. So today I took a moment to let everything that happened during the past few days sink in.

I realised how grateful I am for having made it this far, not only in my teacher's training but also in life. Just a few months ago I was lying in my bed, barely able to get up on my feet and walk a few meters. Yet there I was yesterday, fully engaged in my self-practice. I was there on my mat, breathing, moving, sweating, stretching. There were bodies moving around me too. Every one of them with its own story. I closed my eyes and turned inwards. I could feel their presence warming up the room, supporting each other through this togetherness.

My step was light and my body was warm. I heard the calls of my thighs and spine and I let them move. I let my body flow into the place that felt right. I got into a deep backbend. A wheel- what an experience. As I was bending my back, I could feel my chest open. I breathed in long, deep, cleansing breath. I returned to the floor and I imagined that in that moment my flesh was on the floor but there was another body, a black semi-transparent skeleton, floating slightly over my physical body. It was my pain body. I saw this other chest being wide open with black smoke coming out of it. It was the painful emotional energy that had been stored in my chest for a long time now. I took a deep breath in and I exhaled with force, letting it all go, allowing the remnants of my traumatic past to evaporate into the air.


In yoga, as in life, every day is different. Every day we let a different version of ourselves unfold. Yesterday I saw a version of me I had not seen in a very long time. Yesterday I opened up. No more hunching, no more self-pity, no more denying life.

I will leave you tonight with this song:

There's A Place In 
Your Heart 
And I Know 
That It Is Love 
And This Place Could 
Be Much 
Brighter Than Tomorrow 
And If You Really Try 
You'll Find There's No Need 
To Cry In 
This Place You'll Feel 
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow 

There Are Ways 
To Get There 
If You Care Enough 
For The Living 
Make A Little Space 
Make A Better Place... 

Heal The World 
Make It A Better Place 
For You And For Me 
And The Entire Human Race

If We Try 
We Shall See 
In This Bliss 
We Cannot Feel 
Fear Or Dread 
We Stop Existing 
And Start Living

Michael Jackson - Heal the World


With a whole lot of love,

Meli

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