Today was the day when I received my final grade for my Master's degree. I am done. I am a graduate. I never thought this day would come, not after everything I went through during the past year and a half.
The question now is "how does this makes me feel?".
My feelings are mixed, since I still haven't had enough time to digest what has happened. I had been stressing about this for so long that I need to allow myself to get used to the idea. After a few deep breaths I am starting to feel a weight slowly being lifted off my shoulders. Thoughts are racing through my mind. Is that it? Now what? Could I have done a better job? So many questions.
And you know what? I do not know. And you know what else? That is okay.
What I know is that after burning out and breaking down emotionally and physically, I did not quit. I successfully completed my program, and it was a tough one, believe me. I also know that despite the circumstances I stayed true to myself. I am still the kind, honest, considerate person I want to be.
What changed is the lens through which I see my own self. I can now see me as a human being, as a person who values values, who has feelings and needs that do not only have to do with performing in an academic context. What changed is that my work is no longer my life and that I feel more secure in my own skin than ever. My self worth is no longer solely dependent on performance. I am happy to have humans whom I love and who love me back, I am happy to have feelings, to have a family, I am happy to be healthy, to be standing on my feet, to be able to spread the love I carry inside me.
Rumi said “When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, never give up! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”
And with that, my dear friends, I embrace change within me and outside of me and I invite you to do the same.
The question now is "how does this makes me feel?".
My feelings are mixed, since I still haven't had enough time to digest what has happened. I had been stressing about this for so long that I need to allow myself to get used to the idea. After a few deep breaths I am starting to feel a weight slowly being lifted off my shoulders. Thoughts are racing through my mind. Is that it? Now what? Could I have done a better job? So many questions.
And you know what? I do not know. And you know what else? That is okay.
What I know is that after burning out and breaking down emotionally and physically, I did not quit. I successfully completed my program, and it was a tough one, believe me. I also know that despite the circumstances I stayed true to myself. I am still the kind, honest, considerate person I want to be.
What changed is the lens through which I see my own self. I can now see me as a human being, as a person who values values, who has feelings and needs that do not only have to do with performing in an academic context. What changed is that my work is no longer my life and that I feel more secure in my own skin than ever. My self worth is no longer solely dependent on performance. I am happy to have humans whom I love and who love me back, I am happy to have feelings, to have a family, I am happy to be healthy, to be standing on my feet, to be able to spread the love I carry inside me.
Rumi said “When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, never give up! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”
And with that, my dear friends, I embrace change within me and outside of me and I invite you to do the same.
SO.PROUD.OF.YOU.
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